When after months, or even years of struggling to conceive, the moment you get your BFP is wonderful. But as many women know, pregnancy after infertility can also be full of anxiety, guilt and even imposter syndrome.
After so much heartache and worry, it seems crazy that we wouldn’t just be happy and enjoy the ride but with so much riding on our pregnancies, its hard to be calm and relaxed.
Below you will find 5 truths about the emotional rollercoaster that is pregnancy after infertility.
They are totally normal and experienced by so many women who have got pregnant after IVF, IUI and other fertility treatments.
Given that out of every 100 couples in the United States, about 12 to 13 of them have trouble becoming pregnant, lots of us are experiencing the same thing.
Also, make sure to check out all my tips and tricks on pregnancy and life with a new baby, including where to get Free Baby Stuff for New & Expecting Moms.
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Pregnancy After Infertility – Things we all experience
This is a weird one. The first time I went to the OBGYN’s office for my initial appointment, I had a weird sense that I didn’t belong. I actually missed the familiarity and security of my fertility clinic.
Everyone knew my name there and, well, I’d seen those people for 10-15 days a month for the last 18 months.
The OB’s office was packed to the gills with pregnant women with seemingly not a care in the World.
I didn’t belong.
I was so used to the disappointment and sadness of seeing a pregnant woman that it was hard to wrap my head around the fact that I was now one of them.
2. Fear of Disappointment
At what point do you stop worrying and start enjoying your pregnancy? Is it after you hear the heartbeat for the first time? The fourth time?
At twelve weeks or at twenty?
If you are living with the joys of pregnancy after infertility, you probably will find it hard to be happy about any of the milestones just in case there is another disappointment.
Sometimes telling everyone the news can make it feel more real. Check out these 25 Rainbow Baby Pregnancy Announcement Ideas for inspiration.
For me, it wasn’t until my baby shower around 35 weeks that things started to be real and I gave into the idea that my pregnancy was actually happening.
3. Guilt of being pregnant after infertility
If you have spent anytime in the infertility World, you might have friends from online forums or local support groups. Once you are pregnant after infertility, then you have to navigate those friendships while your pregnancy progresses.
I made it a point not to make gushing posts on social media or to post pictures of my bump. Even now, I am not huge on posting a ton of photos of my children as you just never know what other people are going through.
4. Staying Positive
Another “symptom” of being pregnant after infertility treatments is the idea that you have no right to complain about anything.
Swelling, morning sickness and sleeplessness should all be taken in your stride, after all, you wanted this. You fought for this so how dare you complain now?
Obviously that is ridiculous and know that you have every right to complain about your pregnancy symptoms, especially the weird and unusual ones.
This one is especially true if you went through fertility treatments and are used to being constantly monitored in a clinic setting.
I was so shocked at how few appointments and ultrasounds I would have, especially in the early days when it’s just once a month. I can totally see why there is a market for in-home fetal dopplers to check for heartbeats.
Another way anxiety manifests itself is the constant symptom checking. Why am I not nauseous anymore? Are my boobs still sore? And of course, the continuous trips to the bathroom to check for blood.
One way to quell the crippling anxiety is to focus on life after your baby is born. Look for cute books for them and start getting excited.
One of my favorite books is I Prayed For You. It starts out “Before you were born, I asked God for something special. I asked Him for you. ‘Dear loving Father in heaven above, send a sweet baby for Mama to love.”
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